mania - 07/25/2023
I just took my cbd tincture sublingually and now I’m laying here wondering how Candace would deal with mania. She definitely is shown to have manic tendencies, so I wonder how she would handle them. I tend to struggle with bouts of dissociation when I am having a manic episode, and I can see her having problems with feeling disconnected from herself. With the issues with control that she has, I can see this really bothering her, maybe even leading to panic attacks. I feel bad saying these things, imagining her in such agony feels bad.
I’d like to think about her taking a break like she did in the alien episode, taking a day just for herself. Her anxiety may subsist through, but she focuses on trying to help herself feel better. I can see her being the type to take cbd as well on a regimen, maybe post show, post canon. She desperately needs to relax she deserves this. I love to think about her relaxing and being pampered.
There’s a reoccurring thought I have about helping to bathe her and washing her hair, nothing sensual about it.
Just two girls taking care of each other. I feel like she would really enjoy it, and afterwards
I would help her into bed and read to her while she waits for her medicine to kick in so she can sleep.
I feel like on her own she would be very proactive about herself, making sure she’s comfortable.
Putting herself into a comfortable headspace so she can work on coming down from her mania naturally.
She’s smart for her age when her neurotic tendencies aren’t clouding her judgement.
I drew a picture of her recently featuring her and her Ducky Momo plush toys,
maybe I’ll do a whole booklet with this theme? That would be fun. I’ll keep this in mind.
touchy feely - 7/24/2023
thinking lots and lots about touching her today. i've been busy, but again it has to do with how long she is. it's not often
that i do draw characters nude because of my own personal tastes, but part of me wants to do just a page of her posing nude
just to focus on her body and its shape.
i personally don't think she'd be very fond of being touched intimately, it'd be like trying to touch an animal's stomach. she'd
think you're trying to tear her organs out or something. you'd rest your hand on her abdomen and you can just feel her heart pounding
through her skin even though she's trying her best to look calm. legs held stiff and pigeon toed, hands screwed up in her lifted sweater.
what would she smell like? some very demure and flowery cheap perfume that she got at the mall because she thought jeremy would like it.
she doesn't like it when you put your face so close to her neck. it makes her feel self conscious. moreso than usual anyway.
girl - 7/21/2023
what is there to really say today other than: it was a hard one, and while i did not have a lot of time spend thinking about
her today, i am spending time thinking about her now. she was fleeting on my mind today as i was doing other things, working on things,
trying to keep myself on track with current projects. my thoughts drift back to her while i'm doing other things. when i was doing especially
bad i imagined her voice, grilling me to cut it out, pick yourself up. it helped a little. i'll continue doing this. probably.
she is such an easy character to like. sympathetic. pathetic. pathetic. i need to sit down and actively watch the show without
my insane frame by frame watching brain looking for cute things to put on the screenshots page, and just take her in in full. she is
such a fun animal to watch, in essence. even without the visual, her voice on its own is so expressive and cute you can practically just
imagine what face she's making or how she's gesticulating on the screen and you'd probably be right.
i have also begun to focus on the parallel candace as well, both of them are very cute. even cuter when you scoot them next to each other.
self love, is what we'll call it. candouble is what other people call it. two weasels who may or may not kill each other in the throes of passion
is what i'll call it. and we'll leave it at that. drew a few things to add to the art page again, hopefully will be working at an increased pace soon,
there are some things i'd really like to get done this year.
self soothing - 7/20/2023
i'm not feeling on my game tonight so i'm going to talk about candace and how bad she is at self soothing. just kidding.
i'm going to talk about soothing candace instead to see if it makes me feel any better. let's see...it's not often we actually
see her soothed when she's actively freaking out since it's actively played as a joke most of the time. i do feel like she'd like
being held or rocked..having her back rubbed etc etc. She seems stunted for her age, so I wouldn't be surprised if the best way to
deal with her would be to treat her like a small animal or something. I'd like to let her rest her head on my lap or something while
i brushed through her hair. I like to coddle and caress the people I care about, which is a rarity.
to clarify, while i do really love and like candace, i do not ship myself with her or consider her an f/o or what have you. i do not
think she would enjoy my presence, nor do i think i am worth this cartoon girl's time. a female of my type would not be interesting to
her in the slightest and that's okay i think. i still would like to observe her and watch her through my binoculars and study her every movement.
all of this to say, no i do not selfship. i do not deserve her.
continuing- i am well aware of the fact that she's a crier. i used to feel awkward when people cried around me, and then someone i really
cared for and loved cried in front of me and i felt an overwhelming need to protect them and keep them safe from the world, so evil that
it caused this outburst. i feel the same about her.
i do like taking screenshots of her crying because i think the way they show her expressing
misery is cute, and she does it quite often. she's extremely expressive, so when she's very upset it's very obvious, and she obviously exaggerates
because of her age...and because she is a cartoon and has this to her advantage. anyway, i will hold her and let her wail and weep and complain as
much as she wants and rub her back and not say anything until she asks for my opinion because what she has to say and what she feels is much more
important than whatever it is that might come out of my mouth.
her face looks fun to hold.
perry/candace retrospective - 7/20/2023
so as i’ve been browsing around different sites, i’ve noticed a glaring pattern. one i hadn’t considered at first, but it has
quite the grip on me now: shipping perry and candace together. sometimes humanizing, sometimes not. either way, it has slowly
been poisoning my mind, and becoming more and more tempting to me. I was honestly surprised I hadn’t made this connection
naturally, but I guess I just wasn’t focused on shipping her with anyone when I first got bit by the Candace bug. I just liked
seeing her in general, so seeing her alongside someone else didn’t matter. However…after rewatching a few episodes and looking
at a lot of fanart (the cutest stuff is on pixiv.) I can definitely say that I am a fan.
Thinking about their dynamic is so much fun. When he is actively working as Agent P he is just so serious and middle aged
disgruntled man coded.
He’s saved her a few times, every time a little exasperated about it, but still happy to save her.
He also really likes to sleep in her bed according to the show, even though Candace fusses about it. If she ever did actively
find out about his agent persona, I feel like their relationship from then on would be super interesting. It makes me wonder
if she’d get even more neurotic than usual, or find herself trying to use his spy skill to bust her brothers. Or, if he’d find
a way to get her to chill out about things a little more.
Either way, the dynamic lends itself to sneaking around and engaging in taboo so of course it’s of interest to me.
Yeah he’s pretended to be a member of your household for years but also he cares about you much and he’s a secret agent and. You're a neurotic
teenage girl and you have to HAVE SEX WITH HIM...oh no...I need to go back and take screenshots of the times that he does save her because
it really does make you think. It really does make your eyebrows go up. While I won't repost the works on pixiv that I enjoyed, I will link to them
so that you can enjoy them and add them to your own bookmark collection.
(1)
(2)
(3)
(4)
(5)
(6)
The art I'm working on now has to do with the both of them, we'll see where it goes. I think he'd make a good paternal stand in
for Candace as she gets older, being as though she's freshly 15 in canon. She needs a strong father figure to take care of her that is also
a cartoon platypus. Keep your eyes on the art section because you can expect a lot of that
in the coming days. weeks. months. who knows.
the stoat returneth - 7/18/2023
So I spent some time taking screenshots again today of course, because this is just what my days are composed of when I'm not working now I guess. Anyway. Today
while I was watching like. Season 3 I think? I was terrorized by this gif:
It feels funny to hyperfocus over a piece of animation, but this happens a lot for me. to continue: it makes a perfect example of just what I LOVE so much about how they use her body. It's not often they
really accentuate her long..ness, so anytime I'm treated to something like this I eat it up. I haven't finished the show fully through just yet, so I'm hoping
as I jump around they'll be more examples of this. There a few times this happens with Parallel Candace, where she's shown lazing about like an animal:
and yes she's in fucking jail but. look at her. who drew this. and why did they draw her like this like. are you seeing this right now. i am holding your head against the screen
with my hand i am physically trembling.
I just really really love how long and how flat she is, her silhouette is just so immensely satisfying to look at. It's part of why I love drawing her so much.
I do wish most fanart let her keep her original body proportions, I know it's nice to give cartoons more natural proportions or per se...giving Candace boobs but.
She really doesn't need them. Like. Look at her. She is already erotic just by virtue of being. Like that.
coddled, cuddled... muddled - 7/17/2023
watching the show as i'm trying to wind down for the evening and really liking how much Candace wails and cries. it's not that i want to see her suffer,
i really just like the idea of her being coddled like a child when she gets overly emotional. the thought of her bursting into tears and immediately
rushing to be comforted, tears and mucus running down her face as she smashes her face into a shirt, clawing at it, trying to get so close she might as well
be trying to crawl into their skin.
she's also shown to really enjoy stuffed animals, consistently seeking comfort in some form. she likes being comforted. she loves to be coddled.
i'm sure she would give or take any excuse to be laid upon someone's lap and adored like a small animal, just in the prospect of maybe feeling anything other
than anxious for a few minutes. i also enjoy the idea of her sedated in some way, enjoying the warm fuzziness of being under the influence, and the
dulled sensations of being cooed over.
this is something i'd like to draw at some point, intertwined with my niche inpatient themed arc. her just coming back from having an episode, waiting
for her emergency medication to wear off, splayed slightly haphazardly in her bed, clinging tightly to her favorite plush toy as a hand is run through her
hair. she groans a little when she'd like a sip of water, and scrunches up her face when she's had enough. squirming away from the hand when it's making her too warm,
but quickly moving back because it doesn't mean she doesn't want it there.
I'd like to talk and ponder more about the inpatient stuff, mostly because I really like the idea of an alternative outcome to what happened in the
new movie. there's no way that she would be left completely fine after all that happened, but because of the beauty of non-continuity and cartoon logic,
there's no reason to think about that. but i think about that. and any outcome that leads to a character having to deal with some sort of physical
or psychological challenge beyond their control, i want. a friend of mine said some things earlier that really got the gears in my mind turning. they said
quite a few things actually, all very good, but my mind keeps focusing on:
Why that in particular? You ask, questioning the guy writing a 3 paragraph ramble about a cartoon girl. Well, she's often reduced to stammering or stuttering (or complete silence) when
she's shocked or surprised, so the idea of her being or becoming nearly completely nonverbal over time is fun to think about. especially because of
how much she talks, and how much her personality and character is tied to her voice. and her screaming. i don't think i'd like to imagine her
without the ability to talk for long, but teaching her how to be comfortable with talking again and helping her read is very nice thing to think about.
there is also the potential for brain damage. but we'll talk about that later. look at this.
body like a weasel - 7/16/2023
surprising no one, a big part of the appeal in her is that her body is long, gangly, and lithe. do those words mean essentially the same thing?
I'm unsure. either way, there has always been something that has appealed to me in cartoon girls that are just. long. I don't know how else to
describe it. just long.
The beast is stoatlike in nature and form. Which is a good animal to compare her to I think. I think she would tear a small animal to pieces with
her teeth if left to her own devices for too long. She loves to writhe about and scream, maybe stoat is just the perfect animal comparatively.
Pressing a hand to her heart and feeling it thump rapidly like a small animal's because she never calms the hell down. I'm glad she isn't portrayed
with breasts at all throughout, it really lends itself to her mustelid...ness.
blah blah neurosis in cartoon girls is sexy - 7/16/2023
I'm glad that they consistently refer to her as psychotic and neurotic throughout the entirety of the series. it really speaks to the fetishists out there.
I always wonder what the hell that's exactly wrong with her, because she definitely has issues when it comes to like compulsive behavior and
obsession. It's like I don't want to actively put a word to it because I just want her to be insane and suffer with whatever the hell is wrong
with her little hamster brain until the day she dies.
I know it's not funny or whatever these days to portray neurosis in media but there is something undeniably erotic about a character that just
cannot keep it together no matter what. I don't think there's a single time where she is just. Okay. And that is okay. It makes the idea of her
falling to pieces and needing to be coddled and taken care of even more titillating to think about. It isn't fairly often that she's reduced to a
truly emotionally unstable state but the times that she is, she is at her most erotic in nature. I don't even know how else to describe it other
than that.
